Can anyone make a case for the value of
this way of communicating with someone, described here as British politeness? Would the world be a better place if we all just said exactly what we mean? (Stay tuned for Steven Pinker's views on this question.)
Hey Dr. Benton-- I can't get into the readings on the library page. I must have written down the directions wrong. I know how to get to the library page, but I'm lost after that. Can you give me the steps again, so I can send you the emails tonight and Sunday?
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
Amanda J. P.S. I used my boyfriend's Google account to message you this because because I don't have one, and it wouldn't let me comment otherwise. Ha!
Can I make a case for this??
ReplyDeleteIt's not just British politeness, but I do believe similar societies DO need these buffers. We go through similar motions with American politeness. Such as when they say "with greatest respect" I immediately went to thinking about when we start sentences by saying, "No offense, but..." We're obviously about to offend the recipient of that statement, but we add this to soften the blow of a harsh comment. Some of it is because it's politically acceptable in our society, but then other societies find our "politeness" as insincerity. I've had discussions about how Russian cultures find the gesture of smiling at random people as insincere because smiles should be genuine. Of course, gestures are technically non-verbal language, so it goes back to what is socially acceptable in certain circumstances. Those who know me also know I'm not the type to lie about things, but I also never intend to hurt a person's feelings when I bluntly state something. I use hedges to make it seem less hurtful. Professors use some of the polite British terms when it comes to assignments because they might not want the student to feel defeated. Many times I received work back where the professor would say "I had only a few minor comments," which I took to mean "He/she found a few typos" but it actually meant, "I want you to completely redo this." Had they come out and said that in conversation, I would've given up. Sometimes, in our society, we need this "politeness" to give us a break from the painful negativity we see/hear about every day. This covering of the "truth" helps us continue our everyday lives without our feelings getting demolished in the process.